Fucken Fours

This morning, I decided to sit on the couch and knit and watch kerry-ann instead of going to the gym. The princess now has two legs, a bum and a torso. Much more productive than attacking old women. After that I had to collect the child from kinder then go to the loocal shops to buy a toaster, some mushrooms and sour cream (for a strog) and a microphone for the computer. This should have been easy as all the relevant shops are in the same centre. The child had other ideas...

I remember the smugness that comes from being childless yet knowing exactly how to raise children and recognising instantly the mistake the parent of the rampaging child is making. To all those I ever judged, to each and every parent to whom I ever cast dirty looks at or made snide comments about to a companion, comments like "..those people.." and "I wish they would control their child.." I most humbly apologise. I prostrate myself on the ground before you and plead most humbly for your forgiveness.

When you are in a busy shopping centre and your child is lying on the ground, dress over their head, screaming and crying and thrashing their legs around – what do you do? Walk off and leave them? Offer to hand them over to the strange grey tracksuit pant and sock and sandal clad man who is admiring your "pretty girl"? Do you use your "I'm serious" voice very loudly and attract even more attention to yourself? Or do you give in to desire and just punch the little bugger?
I chose the angry voice, threats of punishment and dragging her behind me option. It didn't work. I pig headedly completed my shopping and three and a half hours later shoved the little shit into her bedroom and slammed the door.

To top off a less than wonderful day I discovered my large Le Creuset saucepan has huge divets in the enamel in the base as if it has been attacked with a hammer. I am heartbroken. I love my ridiculously heavy saucepans, they cook evenly and retain heat and don't stick, they are worth every cent of the hundreds of dollars I paid for them. And now it seems they are disintegrating. I blame miss-use by recent housemates. Ignorant bastards who didn't know the difference between a saucepan and a fry pan.

When I was about 25 I had saved a big chunk of money to buy a set of Le Creuset. Myer was having a 50% off sale – I was ready, I was going to do it. Then the French government decided to test nukes in the pacific. The global call to boycott French products went out. I was devastated, torn between my love of cooking and political beliefs. What was I going to do? I snuck into Myer, bought the saucepans (set of three saucepans, big pot, two baking trays – cost a ridiculous amount, even at 50% off) smuggled them home, hid the wrappings in my neighbours bin. I then went on every anti-nukes anti-France march I could find. I put bumper stickers on my car (I don't do bumper stickers) The first march consisted of thousands of people, the last months later was about a dozen of us. I figured I had earned my saucepans and my contribution to the French economy had been outweighed by my marches. I could use my gorgeous pots without guilt. They have served me well, and 13 years later are starting to fall apart. I mourn. I can't afford new ones. The march is over.